A FAIL Story...

I was thinking about my most embarrassing moments on stage a few days ago, and remembered one I had tucked way back into the deep recesses of my mind...

I'm 19...Bourbon Street in NOLA...I had been with this band for a couple of weeks. It was a full 7 piece band (bass, guitar, vocals, drums, and 3 horns) and we played alot of top 40 schlock (EWF, James Brown, Gap Band, etc...). Great group and I was the youngest BY FAR...next closest to my age was mid twenties and the oldest was 50-something...and I was GREEN...so green...we're talkin' neon-too-green-to-look-at green...it was bad. But I was learning.

The biggest deal for me was knowledge of the set list. most of the songs we were playing had been hits before I was even a twinkle in the eye of my parents. Lots of catchup for me...the list was roughly 50 tunes deep and I knew maybe 5 coming into it.

Anyways, back to the memory...we played a version of "Smooth" by Carlos Santana. In the middle we went into a horn break and the rhythm section went into a Samba type feel...simple, right? I had never rehearsed it with them, they just told me about the section on the break and we were gonna go into it live...

Middle of the second verse...palms are sweaty...hearts racing...

That particular section comes barreling at me and I throw in a fill to lead into the Samba section...uh-oh...something is horribly wrong...the horns are falling out one by one...the bass player is hollering something at me...everyone's glaring at yours truly...this went on for roughly 3 hours. Ok, maybe about 5 seconds...nonetheless, it was a long time in my mind. Finally the guitarist kicked his amp and crashed into the chorus....slowly everyone stumbled back into the tune...

What happened?

I had committed the carnal latin sin...I had REVERSED THE SAMBA!!! (cue dramatic music and gasps)

Instead of boom-chick-boomboom-chick-boom...it was chick-boomboom-chick-boomboom...that's what they were yelling...the horns thought they were lost, the bass player was trying to get me to turn it back around, and the guitarist probably would have shot me had the opportunity presented itself.

I slithered defeatedly out the door on our break to assume my spot on the outside wall...that's where I watched all of the street craziness happen...

Bobby O (sax player...he used to run a few big bands at Disney World) came outside after a while and leaned on the wall next to me...silent...saying nothing...or was he yelling? The silence was quite loud, having trouble remembering...

I stumbled through some sort of an apology. He kindly (which wasn't his nature) said,"Don't worry about it. That happens. You wanna know what the worst part was?"

There was a worse part than the embarrassment I was feeling at this moment?!

"What?" I asked slowly...

"Raymond Weber had just walked through the door to check us out."

This was bad. This was real bad. I knew for a fact that Raymond had heard about the new kid on the street and had come to check me out...why this night? Why that song? WHY?!?!?!

Raymond was a local drumming god...played with Harry Connick Jr, Dave Matthews, lots of others...I had been planning on impressing him since I had moved down.

Impress I did...I mean, not a good impression, but I'm sure I made some sort of impression on him...

I was embarrassed for weeks...The whole time I lived in NOLA I never got the courage to strike up a conversation with Raymond because of that moment.

And what did I learn?

Work on your samba?

I probably learned what every other musician, or artist, or businessman, or entrepreneur learns...mistakes happen...sometimes in front of important people. Always have, always will. Accept it. Learn what you can from them. Drown your sorrows in twinkies and chocolate milk for a few days and make sure THAT mistake never happens again, then hold your head up high...

...and don't let past mistakes affect future relationships and progress...yea, I guess that's what I learned...

...and the Samba...I also learned my Samba inside and out the next day...

Starving Artist Denial Syndrome...or the SADS...

I was thinking about this the other night for some reason...It happened a few years back when I was playing for my church...I do this often. Keeps me grounded, let's me give some of my talent back, and is part of my threefold philosophy with drumming...

PHILOSOPHY:

There are 3 types of gigs that you should be involved with at all times...

1) Paid (The most popular by far)

2) Experience (These are sometimes paid, but oftentimes when they are it's not much...these are the learning times. That group you took on because the music was really challenging or you saw it would give you the chance to stretch out a bit in the music...yada yada yada...)

3) Unpaid/Charitable (Church, Christmas volunteer stuff, etc...)

I was playing with a bass player I had played with once before and I couldn't remember his name. After rehearsal we exchanged niceties and I got his name again...we'll call him Fluff...and asked him what he did for a living, to which he replied, "Well, I'm a bass player...you know, lots of studio stuff, some live stuff..."

Cool, great work if you can get it, albeit rarely stable work.

So here's the problem I had...I knew for a fact that playing wasn't all Fluff did for a living. How, you might ask, did I know that?

Rewind a few weeks...I was working my cash job (go here to see what that means). I'm a personal trainer and not ashamed to say it. That brings in the majority of the cash money at my house. Music brings in some too, but as you know, I re-vamped how I'm doing things a couple of years ago...

Anyways, I was working my cash job...and Fluff was working out in the same room I was training my client in (I casually brought my gym up in conversation later just to make sure this was the same guy...). I guess he overheard us talking about my kid. He grabbed one of his business cards and popped over to tell me how I needed to get my son some of whatever it was he was trying to sell me (it was some useless commodity that no child really needs...like a life insurance plan or something like that...life insurance for me, check. Life insurance for my 2 year old, probably not...)...it was obvious this guy sold a good bit of this stuff, he had cards, an office, yada yada...

So why did he tell me he played music full time? Why was he afraid to tell me he sold such and such commodity as well as played music?

Seems I run into alot of folks like this in Nashvegas...



They're in the second stage of what I like to call the Starving Artist Denial Syndrome...or the SADS (the first stage is when they are actually in fact starving from lack of work and unwilling to get a job that will allow them to eat anything besides ramen noodles)...they can't face up to the fact that they haven't positioned themselves within the musical market well enough to have a steady stream of income from it, so they go get a "real" job and convince others that they really are , in fact, working full time as a musician, this other work is just extra.



Rock on Kennedy.

They're scared too...they have no clue how they'll be able to ever get music to be a full time thing. Only thing they can come up with is maybe they'll land that dream road gig...or become "the" session player in town...or whatever...and this job will just "get them through the lean times"...all of which they have no actual control over.

So what did I say when he asked what I did?



I told him I was a personal trainer. Period.



Do I play music for pay? Sure. Do I make well at it? Some months more so than others. Do I have a game plan for increasing my capacity and pay in the musical arena? You freakin' bet I do (Watch this space...)

I gave up a long time ago trying to convince people that I played full time when in fact I didn't. What was I gaining from lying? Absolutely nothing...it just made me feel like a moron for not having more gigs. The real problem was that I didn't have any sovereignty over my work...I didn't say when I played, for how much, for whom, etc...I was waiting on the calls, and that sucks and is never steady.

So 2 years ago I took on personal training.

One of the best things I've ever done. I say who I work with, when I work, when I'm off, how much I work for. And that goes for music now as well...if I don't want to take a gig because I don't like the players or it doesn't pay quite enough for me to "want" to do it, I don't. Period.

It was a huge ego hit at first...I went through some mad depression about it...all because I tied my self worth to my playing.

YOU'RE WORTH MORE THAN HOW WELL YOU PLAY OR HOW MUCH YOU'RE PLAYING.

The sooner you get that through your skull the better.

So why did Fluff's denial bother me so much? Because I don't think he knows HOW to make the music thing work. I don't think he's figured out how to gain sovereignty over his playing and career. Have I? Not fully, but I've got a better idea than 90% of the folks out there waiting for gigs...

and how do I know that?

I'm way happier than most of them. Very content with where my career is and where it's headed. In no rush to get there because I want it to look just like the image of my career I have in my head. I love my original project I'm involved with...I love playing at the church I do (they have so many killer players there!)...I dig the session work I've been doing...the road work and live gigs I've been doing have been top notch on so many levels...etc...

So when should you face up to the fact that your career isn't what it should be and start taking steps to fix that?



I don't know...I'm still figuring things out for myself...it's different for everyone...it's a huge step, but one well worth taking. You owe it to yourself ...and to the rest of the world... to reach your full potential.



It's like George Bernard Shaw said:


"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man."

I've decided to be the unreasonable man nowadays...

Failure Is The New L.A...

Have you worked on your FAIL today?

Sure, alot of times it is the best that succeed. But you know what I find? Most of the "best" are really just the most persistent that kept at it until they were perceived by the rest of the world as the "best". Thomas Edison was the best...and he was also the most persistent...and he was one of the biggest failures ever...he failed thousands of times...and you know what he said when asked how it felt to fail at something over 10,000 times?

"I didn't fail 10,000 times, I simply discovered 10,000 ways that it wouldn't work."

So he was the best...and the most persistent...but I guess if you look at it in that light (no pun intended) he was also a FAILURE.

Hmmmm...

I think this pertains to drumming and music in the biggest way...

What else are we doing with our practice time? We find something that we are failing at (i.e. single strokes, funk grooves, stick twirling...you know, the important stuff...) and then we set about fixing the FAIL.

Do you know how long it took me to play 5 over 4 smoothly? MONTHS! And what was the payoff you might ask? When I started I had no clue...I just knew I had heard something in my head, couldn't play it, and that needed to be fixed. After I established that I could in fact play 5 over 4, it was only then that I realized what it had done for me. All of a sudden my subdivisions were coming easier to me...the ones we use all of the time... My independence was going through the roof...my thinking was more precise and accurate...

I've used 5 over 4 in a playing situation maybe four times in the 5 years since I learned how to play it...but who cares. I took something that I FAILED at and turned it into something that I was good at...only after I did that could I see the applications available to me for using it. Do you think that Edison knew all of the applications for the light bulb when he made it? Absolutely not! He just thought it would be cool to have some safe light once the sun went down!

We all too often see failure as a negative, and I'm suggesting that you start to view that word in the positive category. Once you FAIL you know what needs work...

ALMOST EVERY GREAT SUCCESS IN LIFE WAS PRECEEDED BY A FAILURE.

If you know of one that wasn't, please enlighten me.

You don't really have to be the best..you just have to be the most persistent. Persistence takes alot more time...and patience...and planning...and waiting...and work...

Being the best is hard too, but give me a decent player with lots of FAIL in their past and a killer work ethic anyday over a GREAT one with a lackluster approach to life, a lethargic nature, and no FAIL.

So go ahead...why don't you go FAIL at something today? It would be alot more interesting and productive than spitting out some garbage you've been rehearsing for the past 4 years...to be the best you have to make yourself the worst...you have to push yourself to the places you haven't been...

YOU HAVE TO GET BETTER AT YOUR FAIL!!!

I've got a few new rudiments that I need to go FAIL at for a while actually...